Motherhood was not for me.

Then, it happened.

Fine, but I’d never give up my career.

Then, I did.

No matter what my supportive boss’ or my intentions, being a reporter encroaches bit by bit on your life outside of the newsroom, especially when I have workaholic tendencies. I found myself breastfeeding Squidget while desperately typing an article with one hand to try and meet deadline and handing her to Jared as we passed each other on our ways to and from work.

Work demands coupled with breastfeeding supply issues and a turbulent daycare situation brought me to a breaking point.

So when my brother-in-law approached us about returning to the family farm, I was more receptive to the idea than I ever imagined I would be.

Becoming farmers meant big changes, including giving up both of our jobs (that we loved) and our house in a town in which we saw ourselves staying for decades.

The changes would have positives too: the opportunity to spend more meaningful time together, for Squidget to know her great grandparents, to see my East Coast family more than once or twice a year, and for us to travel.

Those opportunities won out.

I thought I would write again sooner, but it turns out it was easier to turn my back on my previous life as I embarked on my new one just as harvest time rolled around.

Here on the prairie, I hope to harvest more than wheat.

I hope to harvest time with my child and family; the precious, once-in-a-lifetime moments I was so afraid of missing when I still worked; new skills and interests; and adventures.

Already, Squidget is more secure and independent, and she loves the dirt, rocks, cows, four-wheelers and her cousins.

Seeing her flourish is enough to make the upheaval worthwhile, and Jared agrees that we have no regrets in the move.

But that doesn’t mean I’m not without emotional struggles of letting go of the identity I had cultivated before I donned my new persona of mom and farm wife.

These pages will be dedicated to the mayhem of motherhood and the process of, hopefully, coming through it all to have a good harvest.


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